Clean Slate?

Well, I've moved to a new state and wanted this to be my chance at cleaning my slate. I don't think that has actually been the case though. I am burdened by the fears that I refuse to shed (or maybe can't shed?), and I am burdened by my expanding size. During the move I did lose a few pounds because I couldn't eat and that was great ... but after I got to my new place I went grocery shopping.

It's not what you think - I bought all healthy food, no crap at all. The problem was my fridge was too damn cold and all of my fruit and vegetables froze the first night. Crap is all I can say. I was left with my frozen lean cuisine meals and they didn't last. I don't know what my problem was - I simply couldn't stop eating them. I made it through roughly 12 days of meals in two days. Talk about a fricking pig.

My groceries are essentially gone, and I guess for me that's good news since I have a mile to go to get to the grocery store and I no longer have a Walgreens conveniently located on the corner any longer. If I want to actually eat, I have to work for it - oh and since there is no delivery service here equal to what I had in my old home, I don't have to worry about that either. Thank gawd.

I need to actually start exercising - this is getting ridiculous. If I don't lose some of this weight, I can't expect to ever really find anything can I? Pity party - na, just thinking out loud and hoping that I am strong enough to make a life change that I have so desperately needed for that past decade.

I would like to say, here's to a fresh start, but until I think that in my own mind, I guess it is just wishful thinking.